christmas tree

One of my favorite Christmas memories is of our Charlie Brown christmas tree that I set up when I was a teenager. I had found a poor little tree growing in our front yard, in a spot that was not going to allow it to grow properly, so I pulled it out and planted it in a pot and put in in our living room. Oh how I loved that tree! I was so proud of our little tree, and have looked back on it fondly. My mom actually planted the tree later on and now it is huge!! This morning the mailman delivered me a package, and inside was a Cahrlie brown Christmas tree from my parents! So cute I put it on our dining room table. I am very pleased.

adjustments

Derek came home on Friday, Hooray!! What an answer to prayer it was for our entire family. I am so grateful to have my husband back, especially in time for Christmas. What an adjustment though it is to me! I have what you might call "control issues". Yes I admit it, I like to feel in control of things, rarely am I actually in control, but for a few brief moments I like to think I am. So while Derek was away, I was in charge, I handled all circumstances, decided what we would do and when, well now that Derek is back all that changes. Not that he himself in a control freak at all, but I have to adjust to another grown up in the house, and be aware that it is not all about me. Plus the expectations!! No matter how many times Derek goes away on deployments, there are always those expectations of what it will be like when he is back- the house will be calmer, the kids will be better behaved, and you will live in perfect harmony. Ha!!! I know, I know, this is my own fault, I think the time away you forget the faults and dwell on the ideals, so once everyone settles in you realize how wrong you are!! Plus you realize you couldnt control this either! But regardless of all the little bumps, I am happy to have my husband home.

I woke up to quite a scare the other night. Laurelin had gone to bed cranky, she seemed to be complaining about something, but noone could really tell what was wrong. We figured it must be gas. There were no signs of anything else wrong. Well at midnight she woke up screaming, and it was obvious something was wrong. I took off her diaper, but couldnt see anything wrong, and I moved her leg and caught a glimpse of something. Her inner thigh was blistering!! I was so shocked, I had no idea why this was happening, I went downstairs to call my mother-in-law (who is a RN), and while I was holding Laurelin I noticed on her hip area that she was getting small blisters there too! I was trying not to panic, but I had never seen anything like this before. After I talked to Kathy, we decided it had to be a bad reaction to the new package of diapers I bought her yesterday. Because once she started wearing the new diapers this started to happen, and it was only on the area where the diaper was at. I stripped her naked and had her lay with me on the couch on a towel. She calmed down and seemed to feel better. In the morning when she got up, the areas were all red and inflammed and looked horrible. I had to take her down to the acute care clinic, and waited a few hours to be seen, where in that time period, Laurelin peed all over me, and also all over the waiting room floor. ( She still couldnt wear diapers). So about four hours into it, the doctor prescribes her anti-fungal cream because the idiot cant tell that it is blisters and not a yeast infection. Augh I was so mad!! How could he not see that they were blisters? Thankfully I have some knowledge about things and know not to put this cream on her. And I take care of her myself. Thankfully she is doing much better, but I am still annoyed that the doctor didnt listen to me and didnt look more carefully at her, to know what was truly wrong with her. I also contacted the diaper company and let them know what happened to her. Strangely enough my son use these diapers at night and has no reaction to them at all. I dont know what could be in it to make it react like that, but I pray I never have to see that again!!

It's a God thing

Derek was informed last week that he would be going back to Iraq at the end of March for another seven months. I guess the benefit of doing your job well, you get to go to Iraq first. Well of course we were upset about this and Derek emailed everyone in his chain of command that this wasn't fair. Later on that day Derek received an email saying that Derek was off the roster for Iraq, and he would also not have to leave at the end of next year!! What a miracle!! This was definetly a God thing. Who else would have the power to completely change things around so quickly?

maintenance

I called maintenance yesterday to have them come and look at my stove. When I turn on my oven the kitchen smells like gas, sometimes I can smell it in other rooms. So this morning a guy came out to look at it. I turned it on, and left the room ( I had just poured a bowl of cereal, so had to eat it before it got soggy). A couple minutes later, he told me to come in and sign the work form. When I walked into the kitchen I smelled the gas right away. so I was relieved that he would know what I was talking about. Unfortunatley the next words out of his mouth were "you dont smell anything right?" I was dumbfounded! Of course I smelled it!! What the heck was he thinking? Well of course I get the guy that I dont think can smell anything!! His nose is stuffed up. Good grief. So he calls the office to see if they can bring someone else to smell, well they inform him that they have a tool to check for gas. so he went back to the office and picked it up and came back. This was a small gadget, that looked like something you could pick up at the dollar store. After he checks around it shows there wasnt gas, but honestly it still smelled of gas. He couldnt tell me what it was though, then he says "well if you have any other problems please call again". Wait a minute, you're not done!!! I told him that I am not going to have this smell in the kitchen even if that cheap little thing says its not gas, I dont know what it is and I dont know if it is dangerous. So grudgingly he calls his office and has his supervisor come to look, he decides it is from the breeze coming in, and I say no that cant be it because I dont have the door open all the time. So he decides it is the propane burning off. I wanted to know when they were going to fix it. Of course the answer is "I dont know" they have to get approval from the community center to see if they can replace it. So until then who knows what chemicals we are being exposed to. I love renting.

Back to school

Today I had the priviledge of going back to junior high. Oh yes the joy! I got a call from Jeremy's teacher today saying that he was acting up in class, so I told her I would be right down to surprise him. And surprised he was! He thought I came to pick him up early, but I told him I wanted to speak to him outside. then he knew he was in trouble. So I talked to him about how he should behave and be respectful to people in authority. The teacher came out and told me that I could stay in class, Jeremy liked that idea, and I went into class to sit next to him. His friends thought it was hilarious. But Jeremy actually seemed to like the fact that I was there. Well I have to admit that the class was poorly taught, and the teacher had no control. She was a substitute, and basically left the kids on their own. I must say the kids really did get obnoxious, but it was obvious they needed more structure and guidance, and I think they would have been more respectful. I was close to the point of standing up and teaching the class.
Jeremy wanted me to go to his next class, which was science. This teacher was much better. The kids responded to her and listened to her. It was interesting to sit in class and be an observer.
Wow I dont envy middle school teachers at all. I wouldnt survive a week I dont think. I went to a private school so maybe I was a little secluded, but my goodness the kids are so obnoxious, I dont know how many swear words I heard, and how many inappropriate comments. You really have to have a thick skin to get through that. I am thankful to be done with that, I dont know if I could handle that!!

food donation

I was amazed by our little church last night. We were leaving to go home after biblestudy, and our pastor came up to us and said that he had a food basket for us. I was excited about that, and he opened the back of his van and it was FULL of food!! He pulled box after box of food out to give to us. I was amazed. I guess he was given the food to pass out to families and need, and he picked us as a family. Now let me clarify before i have people freaking out and thinking that the kids and I are starving to death. No, that is not true, we have always had food to eat. I have a talent for making a meal with a few items, and stretching the food dollar. I am amazed by the amount of food my kids can consume. What a relief to have so much food lying around, it wont by lying around for long, but it is a relief to me to have an abundance of things to choose from, and not think about going to the store every other day when the cupboards go empty.

Help for a spouse of a deployed soldier

Okay I must admit that I didnt write the next part, but someone sent this to me, and I thought it was so funny and so true that I just had to put it on my blog.


I appreciate the offers of help. I really do.
However, it’s fall, and the grass has pretty much stopped growing, so I don’t really need the lawn mowed.
And that general, “So do you need anything?” question just begs for the answer “no.”
But if you REALLY want to help?
Here are the top ten ways:
10. Come over at 6am on Saturday and tell the kids that it’s too early to wake up.
9. Then stay and make breakfast (from scratch) while I sleep in until at least 9. Preferably 10.
8. Run to the store at 11pm when I discover I’m out of diapers and can’t move because I’m holding poopy baby legs.
7. After a hard day, run to the store at 9pm to buy me ice cream.
6. And chocolate.
5. Come over at any time of day or night to kill a spider.
4. And a cockroach.
3. And anything that scurries and has a tail.
2. Figure out how to hook the new DVR up to the tv, dvd, soundsystem and ipod player thingy.
1. Run out and get me some cold medicine and a box of tissue, righthisverysecond before my head explodes and I am forced to wipe up the mess with leftover Chik-fil-A napkins because we are out of tissue, napkins, paper towels, and have only enough toilet paper to last for one more day, but only if no one uses it to blow their nose, and none of my children poop in the toilet, which would require us to use our reserve supply of Chick-fil-A napkins, which would stop up the toilet and then you’d also have to come over and plunge the toilet for me.

God's provisions

Part of Sarah's homeschooling curiculum is Bible time. The other day we were reading in Luke about How Jesus tells us that we are to ask God and that he will provide for us. I was pointing out to Sarah that God does want to know the desires of our hearts, but that doesnt mean that he will provide everything we ask, and that we shouldnt use God as a wish list. And that he will give us what is good for us, we just have to trust in Him. Anyways, I asked Sarah if there was something that she wanted, but didnt feel like she was going to get. She said that she really wanted a pair of Heely's, but didnt think she would get a pair because they are expensive, and we havent found a pair that we could afford. So I told her that she just needed to pray and trust that God would answer her prayer, and I told her that he might answer no because He didnt feel that was best for her. Well yesterday after church I took the kids to the Goodwill, and told them we would see if we could find some treasures. Well what would be on the shelves waiting for Sarah? A pair of practically new heelys in her size!! Afterwards on the way home, I was talking to her about how she asked God and he supplied. I told her that even though it wasnt something that was necessary, God felt she should have them. It was neat to see God work, even when it comes to a pair of skate shoes.

17 and counting

I am sure a lot of people have heard of the family that has 17 children and counting. Well I have watched the show a few times, and honestly everytime I feel like such a failure!! this mom has so many kids, but she doesnt raise her voice I doubt ever, and her kids are so well behaved. She took all her boys to a thrift store and didnt even yell when the boys got carried away, and she was pregnant!
The last episode I watched I found out that they have zero debt, they budget everything. they even make their own soap!!
Well of course i know that we are all made different and God has given us our own talents, but my goodness how they handle all of that is amazing. I know for a fact that I would never agree to have a camera crew follow me around during the day, it would not be a pretty sight.
I feel like it has helped me to realize that somethings I need help with.
I have gotten to the point now that I do most of my shopping through thrift shops, that has become a family event to "treasure hunt".
But I am definetly a person that once I thnk I need something , I must go out and get it right then and there.
I guess it is a growing thing and a wisdom thing, I know that God loves me still, and he sees that i have a heart to change, even if it is a very slow process.

Praise the Lord!!

Since moving here to Hawaii, our family has suffered many nights of noisy neighbors. It started the first night we were here, and has continued many nights since. I have the number to the MP station memorized because of all the noise complaints. There are quite a few neighbors around us that are to be blamed, but one family in particular have made many sleepless nights. They are under the impression that they are meant to be singers, and well to anyone with ear drums this is SO not true!! Unless of course you enjoy the sound of cats screaching, then you should check them out.
Well tonight while we were eating dinner we looked out the window and could see them setting up to move!! OH Praise the Lord!! I am curious if all the phone calls finally led to their move, but regardless of why, it is happening.
I told the kids we should buy some confetti and toss it in the air as they pull away. :)

This sucks!!

Derek told me last night that he was told that he has to attend BNCOC training from the end of January to the end of March. I believe the training is in Virginia. Which will mean that he is to come home in December and then leave a little over a month later, then go to Virginia for two months THEN do a 7 month deployment in Iraq! We were so hoping to have a few months together before he leaves again, but now he will be gone an extra two months.
I truly am thankful that he will be here for Christmas, that is such a blessing. And I know there are so many families that suffer through 15 month deployments, so I should be thankful I dont have to do that, but still 9 months without my Derek?!! It is so hard for the kids with dad gone, especially poor Matthias, I dont know what he will do when dad has to go again.
I just have to keep my faith and trust in God, and believe that this is the best for us.
But I must say "This Sucks!!!"

church

Today being Sunday we had church. Now I love my church, I dont just mean like it, I literally love it. I honestly believe that we werent sent to Hawaii that we might attend this church, and get our lives refueled and on fire for God. As soon as I walked into the church, I felt like I had come home. It was felt by all the children too. It amazes me to see God work in our lives. Completely floors me sometimes.

This morning the pastor called Jeremy forward and told us that he had something that he wanted to say. Turns out that Jeremy went to the pastor and wanted to be baptized. Jeremy said that he had done some bad things in his past, but knows that God died on the cross for him, and he wants to be baptized to show his commitment to Him,and to top it all off, he said that he is thankful that he came to live here, and feels like this is his home and he wants to stay here. I ended up crying. It was nice to hear, and I am so thankful for him. He amazes me with his wanting to follow God at only age 14. He tells all his friends about God, and asks them to come to church. Which amazes me even more is the fact that he decided that he wanted to live here, after he had gotten into serious trouble and wasnt allowed out of the house (besides school), for the last week. I thought he would resent it, and hate it more, but as it turned out it gave him time to think he said and he realized he would do a lot better here.

So I think he is going to be baptized next month when Derek gets back. He wanted to wait so Derek could see him. and the cool part is that he gets to be baptized in the ocean!!

Thinking some more....

Okay, so I got into a discussion with a few people in regards to Middle Easterns, specifically Iraqis. So now I am even more confused and befuddled then I was before.
I know in the Bible when Ishmael was born (Abrahams child, with his slave) , that at that time was the split between God's chosen people and with the middle east. Okay so later on God called Saul to destroy all those people, but he didnt. Now fast forward ahead to present day. Thousands of years those people have been in conflict, and it had been God's plan to have them wiped out, but that didnt happen. So my question is, Does that make them worst than us? I mean does God favor us, and treat us differently than those people? And yes I know that some people have inherited evil in them, but that make them all a lost cause. In fact someone told me they were soul less people. I have a hard time believing that, I hate to think that God's word was only meant for some people, and what of muslims that turn to Christ, that cant apply to them. And what of muslims that marry outside their race? Would that apply to their generations? Do we just lump everyone together, and say "Those people are evil"? I do believe that God has turned his back on those that have hardened their hearts to them. But I know in the Bible it says that everyone was born with a desire to know God, so once they turn their hearts away from Him, then at that time God turns away. But because they are that race, does God not make them "fearfully and wonderfully made.."
So confused!!

Birthday parties

Last week was my daughter Jessica's birthday. We had a fun day, Jessica is obsessed with High School musical, so I bought a bunch of party things, and invited some of her friends from around our neighborhood.

Well I guess the next day my older daughter Katie was heard saying "Why does Jessica get all the big parties?"

That made me stop and think; Do I throw some kids bigger parties than others, or make a bigger deal out of some and not others?

Well last night I was doing some scrapbooking, and I found some old birthday party pictures, and I started to remember past birthday parties. And as it turns out Katie has had the biggest birthday parties to date!! Now Matthias and Katie have their birthdays only four days apart, so I tend to have one big party for both of them. Three years ago, we had a big pirate themed party and invited all of our family in VA, and I bought Katie a big bouncer for her birthday. Then the next year in WA we had a big Luau party and I bought a big pool for the party. Then last year we all chipped in and had her going to camp for the week. Which was pretty expensive. And this year, we had just moved to Hawaii, so it was kind of bad timing, but we all went to the pool, then bought some pizza and I bought her a bunch of Tinkerbell stuff for her room.

So I reminded Katie of all these past birthdays, and of course she forgot most of that, and I asked what did Jessica have that was so amazing. Well Katie brought up the party that Jessica had a few years ago at my in-laws house. I had Katie think back to that party, and tell me what was so great about it. I bought Jessica donuts and made her a donut cake, and got some party stuff at the store, to set the table up and decorate it up, and the family came over, but that was about it. My father-in-law took her out to the store to buy her some stuff, which she loved, but that was about it. What makes the day so amazing in everyones eyes is the fact that Jessica was so happy!! Still talks about how great it was, and it made her feel special, and was appreciative for what she got. So I guess over the years the other kids think it was so amazing because Jessica still talks about it, but in reality it wasnt anything truly spectacular. It is just all about attitude. So of course I enjoy celebrating Jessica's birthday because she actually appreciates every little thing, and will treasure it, where as the other two girls remember very little and dont appreciate the effort that goes into it.

which frustrates me that they then feel sorry for themselves because they dont think they get the same things, but in fact they get more, they just dont remember!!

Homeschooling

Well I am about to embark on a journey that I swore I would never do again; homeschooling Katie.
A couple of years ago, I felt that Katie needed to be homeschool to catch up in school and really get a one on one education. Now I do feel like this is what God wanted me to do, but good grief it was a nightmare!! Anyway she could cheat she would, she would sneak answers from every source. She would not do the work, and would sit for hours refusing to do it. Now I dont blame her completely for the nightmare, I do take some respondsibility myself. My brother had just passed when we started the school year, and I found out I was pregnant. So it started off a little bad, we couldnt find a good groove and I wasnt very impressed with the homeschool program that I chose.And towards the end I spent most days driving to and from the doctors for my appointments. So by the end of the school year, her and I were both ready to call it quits. And at that moment I think her and I both had the same thought "We are never doing that again!!" I mean I think in some ways it was a good experience for us, I can see now why God wanted me to homeschool her. I do understand her a lot better, she was able to do better in school the following year.
So fastforward a couple of years, and we are going to start this again. It came to quite a shock to me what crappy schools Hawaii really have. I was warned, but was not aware the kids would have to deal with the things that they have. The teachers are very mean, to the point that they yell at the students, kids are really cruel to each other, the schools do not teach american history, only hawaiian history, Katie in particular have seen kids making out at school (even homosexuals), she found a condom in the bathroom, have witnessed many fights, and is to the point of being scared to go to school. I feel so bad for the kids. I have already started homeschooling Sarah, which I am enjoying alot. I believe that Katie should be homeschooled, because she is really struggling with all the garbage she witnesses everyday.
I am starting to think that eventually I will be homeschooling all the kids. Which of course Derek said would probably happen. I will have to set up a classroom in the house, and be referred to as Mrs. Ganley. :)
So starting on Monday, I will now have 4 children at home during the day. What happened to the thoughts of your children going to school during the day and you get a few hours of freedom?! Those seem to be fading dreams.

fearfully and wonderfully

" I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made......"

(Psalm 139:14)

I think God was trying to tell me something over the past few days in regards to this verse. I had it for my daily devotional AND for the verse of the day on my calendar. I am always comforted by this verse with the thought that I was specially made by God, or I think about how my children were specially made, or even my loved ones. But one thing jumped out at me yesterday; God makes EVERYONE that way. I stopped to think about that, wouldnt that also mean Iraqis, child abusers, even Hitler?
Derek and I have been arguing with the point that Muslims are human, just lost souls. Derek has seen horrible things, things I dont even like to think about in regards to Iraqis. He has very negative feelings toward them, which i am sure i would feel if I saw what he saw, but I realized that they were wonderfully and fearfully made just like me. God created them specially.
Then it got me to think, what makes them so different than me? If we had switched places at birth, would I be the same person I am today, and the other person be the same? What makes us- us? Our environment, our culture,etc..
I think as Americans we get a self-righteous attitude that we are better than other people, or religions. But let's be honest for a moment, would we still be a Christian if it was not talked about openly around here? Would we still call Jesus Lord if we could be killed for it? Would we still say we are christians, if it meant we have to leave everything we know behind? Would you go to church if you might be killed in the process? Hmmmm... I dont know if I could say Yes to that. When you think about their environment like that, as lost souls, could we really be so different?
We live in a country founded on Christianity, we have churches on most street corners, we have bibles lining the shelves. Take that all away; would we still follow Jesus? Or would we find a cult to worship and do horrible things because that is what we were taught and told to do?

basketball/skateboards

Yesterday I took Matthias to his first practice of basketball. It is just a mini sport where they learn the fundamentals of the game. I bought him new basketball shoes and he was all set to go. Upon arriving at the gym I discovered there was a lot of dads there with their sons. Oh how my heart ached! I know Derek would have loved to be there with Matthias, and of course Matthias would want his dad to be there too. The practice was fun, the kids each got a ball and were told to practice dribbling. The parents had to go and help their child practice, well when I got to Matthias he was going to town with it!! He did great, even the coach commented on it. I didnt know he had such skills, so I was pleasantly surprised. He has eight more practices to go, and I will have to pray that Derek will be able to come to at least one. Next time I will bring my camera. I always forget that silly thing.
When I got back home Jeremy was in his teenage funk. Pouting and acting like his life was horrible. He finally opened up and was upset that he had borrowed his friend's board and it was stolen, and he couldnt get it back. So he needed a way to get the boy a new board. I had told him not to borrow the boys' board because Jeremy can be quite persuasive, and I didnt think that it was right to just use someone elses board for weeks, well of course it got stolen, because he left it outside. So he was able to get a board from someone else (Told you he was persuasive. people just give him things) but it had no wheels, so he was pouting because he didnt have any and had to ask people for stuff. Well this of course makes me feel guilty that i am not giving him things, and i think that I should rush down and buy him things so he doesnt feel bad, I know it is not rational, just my first instinct. Well come to find out to buy all the wheels and equipment would be about $60. Now he has had quite a few boards since moving here, he has left them outside for weeks, I have seen wheels lying outside for weeks, and finally after telling him numerous times to put them away I had enough and just threw them out. I mentioned this to him, and he says "those werent any good". Which got me thinking that he hasnt tried to save any money to buy skateboard stuff, in fact he bought some stuff last week and it wasnt for his skateboard. This was his problem in WA, whatever he wanted he got when he wanted it. I realized last night that I have to stop this, I cant give my kids whatever they want at the drop of the hat, especially if they are irresondsible to start with. So I have put my foot down, he has ways of getting things if he tries and works through it. And if he really wants something then he has to earn it. I do give them stuff if they work and have shown that they are respondsible. I dont want a constant hand out. Of course I get that little voice in my head that says " bad parent", but I know what is right, besides can children die from lack of toys? I think not.

Thus it begins

I have really missed blogging on Myspace and wanted a way to share my life with family and friends. I dont know if anyone really cares, but hey- I do! I hope that I can keep this up often, but who knows with me. I like to start something then crash and burn once I get going, so I will have to wait and see. It will be nice to vent and share things especially now that Derek is in Iraq and I dont have much grown up conversations during the day. It would be nice to share how I feel or think once in awhile.