Help for a spouse of a deployed soldier

Okay I must admit that I didnt write the next part, but someone sent this to me, and I thought it was so funny and so true that I just had to put it on my blog.


I appreciate the offers of help. I really do.
However, it’s fall, and the grass has pretty much stopped growing, so I don’t really need the lawn mowed.
And that general, “So do you need anything?” question just begs for the answer “no.”
But if you REALLY want to help?
Here are the top ten ways:
10. Come over at 6am on Saturday and tell the kids that it’s too early to wake up.
9. Then stay and make breakfast (from scratch) while I sleep in until at least 9. Preferably 10.
8. Run to the store at 11pm when I discover I’m out of diapers and can’t move because I’m holding poopy baby legs.
7. After a hard day, run to the store at 9pm to buy me ice cream.
6. And chocolate.
5. Come over at any time of day or night to kill a spider.
4. And a cockroach.
3. And anything that scurries and has a tail.
2. Figure out how to hook the new DVR up to the tv, dvd, soundsystem and ipod player thingy.
1. Run out and get me some cold medicine and a box of tissue, righthisverysecond before my head explodes and I am forced to wipe up the mess with leftover Chik-fil-A napkins because we are out of tissue, napkins, paper towels, and have only enough toilet paper to last for one more day, but only if no one uses it to blow their nose, and none of my children poop in the toilet, which would require us to use our reserve supply of Chick-fil-A napkins, which would stop up the toilet and then you’d also have to come over and plunge the toilet for me.