basketball/skateboards

Yesterday I took Matthias to his first practice of basketball. It is just a mini sport where they learn the fundamentals of the game. I bought him new basketball shoes and he was all set to go. Upon arriving at the gym I discovered there was a lot of dads there with their sons. Oh how my heart ached! I know Derek would have loved to be there with Matthias, and of course Matthias would want his dad to be there too. The practice was fun, the kids each got a ball and were told to practice dribbling. The parents had to go and help their child practice, well when I got to Matthias he was going to town with it!! He did great, even the coach commented on it. I didnt know he had such skills, so I was pleasantly surprised. He has eight more practices to go, and I will have to pray that Derek will be able to come to at least one. Next time I will bring my camera. I always forget that silly thing.
When I got back home Jeremy was in his teenage funk. Pouting and acting like his life was horrible. He finally opened up and was upset that he had borrowed his friend's board and it was stolen, and he couldnt get it back. So he needed a way to get the boy a new board. I had told him not to borrow the boys' board because Jeremy can be quite persuasive, and I didnt think that it was right to just use someone elses board for weeks, well of course it got stolen, because he left it outside. So he was able to get a board from someone else (Told you he was persuasive. people just give him things) but it had no wheels, so he was pouting because he didnt have any and had to ask people for stuff. Well this of course makes me feel guilty that i am not giving him things, and i think that I should rush down and buy him things so he doesnt feel bad, I know it is not rational, just my first instinct. Well come to find out to buy all the wheels and equipment would be about $60. Now he has had quite a few boards since moving here, he has left them outside for weeks, I have seen wheels lying outside for weeks, and finally after telling him numerous times to put them away I had enough and just threw them out. I mentioned this to him, and he says "those werent any good". Which got me thinking that he hasnt tried to save any money to buy skateboard stuff, in fact he bought some stuff last week and it wasnt for his skateboard. This was his problem in WA, whatever he wanted he got when he wanted it. I realized last night that I have to stop this, I cant give my kids whatever they want at the drop of the hat, especially if they are irresondsible to start with. So I have put my foot down, he has ways of getting things if he tries and works through it. And if he really wants something then he has to earn it. I do give them stuff if they work and have shown that they are respondsible. I dont want a constant hand out. Of course I get that little voice in my head that says " bad parent", but I know what is right, besides can children die from lack of toys? I think not.