Forgiveness

Last year was a disaster for our family. We went through a lot. I have enjoyed the (somewhat) peace of the house this year, but I was still having some struggles.  I felt spiritually dead. I kept assuming it was depression or pregnancy hormones. I knew something wasn't right though and I couldn't figure it out. I would pray, but I was often distracted and really uninterested. I even felt distant from some of my children, like I had put up a wall, but couldn't figure out what to do to put it down. I wanted to get back to where I was before, but I was just lacking something.
This past weekend I had to go to Texas for a parent seminar. I really dreaded going to be perfectly honest. I really didn't want to have to sit and talk about how to parent my child, who at this time had been in the program for six months. But I grudgingly went, with a book stashed in my purse to keep me busy in case I became too bored.
I saw so many people on fire for God. A calling in their lives to live for Him and to help girls in trouble. The stories they told!! The power of God is amazing! I sat there though and thought " why don't I feel that way?"  It wasn't until the end of the day as we were praying that I heard God speak to me " You need to forgive."
The next day we went home and it was still on my heart. That evening I asked God to forgive all the things that had happened in the past year, all the anger, and the disobedience, all the hatred, the cruel words, the lying, the stealing, everything. It was a huge weight off my shoulders. I do not excuse that behavior at all , or think that it was okay, but I couldn't let it fester in my heart and cause me to harbor all the bitterness.  At that moment I felt real joy, joy that I had been missing for sometime. It was something that I didn't even know I needed, but my prayers had finally been answered and knew I could move forward from this point. I am starting to feel spiritually awake, and such a joy and desire to grow deeper towards God.
If you have felt spiritually dead for awhile, I pray that you search your heart to see if you have any unforgiveness in your heart, it might be the one thing that brings joy back to your soul.

Happy Ending

Without a doubt this past year has been the worst of my life.  There has been so many struggles.  If I try to think through it all, I end up in tears. But through the tears I have found joy. I am a stronger woman today then I could have possibly imagined just one year ago.  I am proud to say I have weathered the storms and I am still standing. I am not standing by my own strength. I am standing because God has held me up. He has blessed me beyond my imagination. I am thankful for all that He has shown me and continues to show me. Even in my sorrow and weariness, my God is there. 
As this year comes to a close and FINALLY we are experiencing some peace to our daily lives....we have a reason to celebrate....

 Besides the fact that Zachary is just the cutest little guy.....we are going to have a baby!!! 
Big things are in the works for next year.... stayed tuned to what we have ahead of us in 2014. 

Finally!!!

Well I am a little late at posting this, but I wanted to make sure everyone was aware....Derek is home!!! 
What an amazingly long and difficult deployment, but thankfully it is now over and hoping that we might actually have some sort of normalcy....fingers crossed!
Here are some pictures of the homecoming.

 This picture made me laugh out loud. This is so us. :) Waiting for Derek to come!

 The vans have arrived!!

 We couldn't wait any longer and ran to meet him at the van.

 Girls giving hugs.

 Zachary with his daddy. I love the look on Laurelin's face.

Yes, we really are that crazy. :) So happy he is home!!

Limping to the finish line

Well we did it; we finished the school year.... in August.
And what a limp to the finish line it was!
This school year I realized one thing.....these kids were not ready to be sent out into the real world as adults. They were fine academically, but behaviorally- nope not there. At that moment priorities shifted. What good were straight A's if they could not have healthy relationships? Don't get me wrong, I don't expect my children to leave the house as grown ups with halos on their heads (although that would be nice. :)) but I am not that silly to set those unrealistic goals on them or on myself. Too many adults have no concept on how to have compassion towards others. Also so many people have no idea how to have a healthy relationship especially when it comes to dating and even as a parent. I didn't want to add to this growing problem, I want children that can be respectful towards others, works hard, has a healthy pride and can keep cool under pressure. Most importantly, valued honesty and integrity. And had a strong desire to follow God.
One major change in our lives.. that had to start with me understanding the importance of this.... Honoring your mother and father. I had gotten to the point where I was yelled at, intimidated, threatened on almost a daily basis.... by my children. And sadly I felt I deserved it. I felt that I had done my kids wrong ( I was reminded of this daily). Once I saw how my children behaved out of my sight though and I realized it was not me; it was them. It was time to change things. It was time to teach my kids the way that God told them to behave, and that was the first one. I was told to teach them His ways, but clearly I wasn't. They didn't have to agree with me, they didn't have to like me, but they did have to show me respect. I deserved it, that was hard to realize at first, but if they couldn't respect me, they wouldn't be able to respect anyone.
The new changes did not go over well.... to say the least. For some kids it was no big deal, they were already doing that, for others....well that created a bigger struggle.
It is very hard to teach children when you have spent hours in a battle with a child who doesn't want to do what they are asked to do. Or to teach a child that is sending death glares your way. Or teach a child that talks bad about you behind your back when you leave the table. It was emotionally draining.
I did learn some different approaches to teaching though. Some days it was just nice to play some educational board games. Netflix has awesome documentary DVDs that offer great discussions with your kids. And honestly some days I just wanted to curl up in a ball and watch a cute movie with your kids.
This next school year I hope things go differently... I pray they go differently. I pray for a school year of peace and harmony. A school year with a teacher excited to teach, and children excited to learn.
This next school year I pray for more chocolate.... and more wine.

Thankful

I have been trying to write this blog post for awhile, but have really been struggling with how exactly to express myself in a way that can truly represent how I feel. I have decided that although it may be clumsy and not very articulate, I felt it was time to say what has been on my heart.
I try very hard to be honest with people I know. I try not to sugar coat my life. I hate pretending that everything is fine, when really it is not. On the other hand I try to protect our privacy and realize that not everyone can be kind and compassionate when it comes to other people's struggles.
I know many people who know us well, know we have had some very hard behavioral struggles primarily with one of our girls. It has been an up and down roller coaster effecting our family dynamics for quite awhile. I love her to pieces, but the behavior I hate. I see such amazing potential, but sadly there is a lot that stands in the way for her to achieve that.
When Derek is home it is bearable. When he is away, it is like torture to make it through some days. This deployment has been hell. The fact that I am still able to be somewhat sane is because I have had to sob to God many times. Also because amazing friends near me who check on me regularly to make sure I am doing okay.
A few months into the deployment we hit a real low, and I didn't know how I could go on much longer. I had to confess to Derek that I was done, and something needed to change. I prayed that God would show me the path we needed to take because I could not do anymore. God brought someone to my mind, someone I honestly did not really know. Someone I talked to briefly maybe two times, but as strange as it seemed God told me to reach out to her. I sent her a message that morning, briefly telling her what was going on and that I didn't know what else to do. I just needed a break, just a few days to breathe again and to enjoy my other children for a change. She replied back within the hour and said "bring her here, we will take her for as long as you need." She didn't know me or my family, but she did it anyways.
She took my child for 3 weeks. I decompressed and I started to heal. Then I was told I had to change my ways. No longer could I let things go on as they were, I had to stand up for myself, I had to take back my life and our family. It has been hard; I am becoming the parent I have to be, even if it goes against my natural tendencies.
Every time there is a struggle or a blow up, she is there. Anytime night or day. She encourages and even tells me what I am doing wrong.... in the nicest way possible.:) Even more amazing.... she requests to take my daughter back for awhile if she thinks it will help.
As another child adds to the struggles and stresses, once again she has stepped in and said "no more, bring them here." I cried with appreciation.
I can't thank this woman....quite frankly the whole family..... enough for everything they have done. They have changed me. They have changed my child. They have given us hope.
Thank you Michele Reinkemeyer for all that you have done.

Confession of a Homeschool Mom

We are heading into the end of another homeschool year. It has had it ups and downs, as most school years do. Being that Derek has been deployed for most of the school year; I am just thankful to have my sanity (somewhat) and the children are all alive.
I feel though like it is time to clear the air on a few things. I hear often from people "wow I can't believe you do that!" or "Wow, you must have so much patience" or any number of compliments of the sort. When people say things like that, I actually inwardly cringe and think to myself  "if they only knew..."
So I felt it was time to confess a few things. To show that homeschooling is not some sort of magical experience made up of genius children and June Cleaver mothers here is a list of things I am willing to admit:

1. I take sick days....even when I am not sick. I have my days where I feel like teaching is equivalent to torture. So I decide to take a day to myself.
2. I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic afraid my children are not doing well enough in their school work.
3. I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic that I am not doing well enough to teach them.
4. I have a child (ren) who feel that homeschool is awful and would prefer to go to public school.
5. We play board games sometimes instead of doing math worksheets.
6. I have googled "how to use a bong" when studying about drugs.
7. I play dance music in the middle of the school work when I have a song stuck in my head and I want us to dance.
8. We have taken vacation days to play Black OPs.
9. Usually at least one child cries a day while doing school work.
10. I make my kids do extra school work when they give me sass.
11. I have cried many times during school time.
12. I am (sometimes) jealous of the school bus full of children who are leaving their homes for the day.
13. Sometimes I put on a movie in the morning and decide to delay schooling.
14. I am nervous when people ask my kids what they are learning in school.
15. I fear being told one day we can't homeschool.
16. I love teaching my kids.
17. I truly do enjoy spending nearly everyday with my children.
18. I have to keep my computer on while doing school work because the kids usually ask me a question I don't have the answer to, and I have to google it.
19. I get giddy in the school supply section of a store.
20. I am sure I am doing it all wrong a lot of the time.
21. I know God is proud of me and wants me to continue.
22. I have criticized unschooling, now seeing how awesome it is.
23. Everything I did not enjoy in school, I am now doing for the second time.
24. My children call Public School "real school".
25. I love meeting other homeschool families.


Okay, now that you have read through my confessions, please feel free to not judge me.  I am so thankful that I have been given the chance to teach my children; even if it brings so many challenges. The joys far out way the sorrows, and I pray I will be able to continue to teach all my children until they all graduate.

70/2

Derek had informed me weeks ago that I would soon be approaching the age where I would be half way to 70. Now mind you, I don't really mind about numbers, I am cool with my age. I don't mind being in my 30's, I am even okay with going into my 40's. But to hear half way to 70...that is another story. That hit me a little hard, and of course my husband was happy to remind me on a daily basis. (He being 6 months younger, somehow makes him the "young" one in the marriage, and free reign to make fun of my age). To top it all off Derek also discovered that 35 is technically the starting age for a woman to be referenced as a "cougar". What is a cougar you may ask? A woman who seeks men who are much younger. I think my husband enjoyed the idea that he was the much younger man. So this started my husband's quest to come up with a birthday party for me and my friends since he would be away for this epic milestone. I had no idea he was planning all of this until I arrived at my friend Erin's house. And this is what awaited me.....

My very own Cougar Party!!!

Derek had sent all the party supplies to Erin's house, complete with "Naughty Girl" necklaces. (For the main reason to embarrass me) 

Anyone who knows me knows my love of sweets, so they gave me a cake, cupcakes AND my favorite oatmeal sammies.

I was so happy to celebrate the evening with some of my closest friends here. 

I had such a wonderful time, and felt so spoiled by my hubby for putting it all together. Even if he did embarrass me horribly. :)

Mushiness

I have control issues..... there I said it. Anyone that has been around me for awhile has heard me say those words, even my kids understand. I am getting A LOT better, but there are still some areas where I think my hands should be there fixing and maneuvering the situation, and only when I have completely got myself tangled up in a mess; do I step back to ask God for help.
This happened to me many years ago when I was about 21 years old. I had managed to get myself into a relationship that I knew deep down I wasn't supposed to be in, but instead of getting out, I figured I could make it work and fix it. The more it went on, the more I wanted out. Thankfully God gave me a perfect path to cut the strings to that relationship with little regret....two months before the wedding day.......
At that moment I knew I couldn't keep taking charge of things, and I had to let God take control. I got on my knees and prayed for God to take over of my life. I was already a Christian mind you, I had just gotten to the point where I thought I could fix and control things on my own. That very day God opened my eyes fully to my feelings towards Derek. I knew when I opened my door that night, he was the one that God had chosen for me.
Fast forward through time.......and today we celebrate our 12 year Anniversary. I am so thankful for God taking control and giving me a man that loves me completely and faithfully. Who makes me feel secure and safe even when we have to spend yet another Anniversary apart. I am thankful that God has blessed us with 7 children!! How amazing is that?!!
One of the best things that we have done as a couple has been to give our children a loving marriage to look at. I mean, we truly love each other! What you see when you meet us, is honestly what we are like most of the time. Don't get me wrong, our marriage is not perfect- we are not perfect, but we have found a few things that help us in our everyday marriage.
1. Divorce is not an option, we never use the "D" word. Since we know that God brought us together, we would be going directly against God's plan, and we know that is not somewhere we want to be.
2. Forever faithful. We do not worry about each others faithfulness while we are apart, we both have vowed to never even attempt to go down that road. Looking at our children, and knowing the devastation that would leave behind has helped us to stay forever faithful.
3. Promises are promises. Whenever we utter the words "I promise", we know those are sacred words. We never say those words unless we mean them.
4. Laughter is important. Spend 5 minutes with us and you will most likely see us laugh. My husband is hilarious. Laughter can get you through most anything.
5. Money isn't everything. "How do you have money to raise 7 children?" We do because God has given us 7 children so we know he will take care of us. This is a big control area for me!! Hardest area for me to let God in.

I am thankful for my husband who does not suffer from control issues, and happily allows me to wield my imaginary control over things. Even if he does take great joy in taking over now and again and watch me panic. ha!

Happy Anniversary Derek Jason!! I am so glad you have tolerated me after all these years. hahahaha!

Green Acres Is the Place To Be!

We have been living in Missouri now for almost a year and a half. I must say, I actually really like it here! Many people over the years would ask "Do you want to be stationed in Fort Leonard Wood?" My response was always "No way!". I am not sure why I had such a negative opinion of this area, I guess I believed we would be in the middle of hicksville, with little means to entertain ourselves for very long. Now I admit, the town I live in is rather small, the only main store is Walmart (which I have a love/hate relationship with), and few other places to really shop. I have discovered this has actually been a good thing, I can no longer go out and mindlessly spend money on frivolous things just because I want to escape from the house.
 When we did not receive our rent money from our house in Washington for over a year, I had to find creative ways to save some money. One was to make my own laundry soap. I also made my own dishwasher detergent. The laundry soap actually turned out quite well, but the dish washing soap, not so much. But it was fun to at least try! I have now bought cloth napkins to help with reducing waste and money. They are a lot nicer to use anyways, and cute! I have started using cloth hand wipes for when the kids wash their hands, instead of that one hand towel that get drenched in water and yuckiness throughout the day. I still buy paper towels though, because there are some messes I just want to toss in the garbage.
I have discovered different ways to buy my food. I now receive eggs from a local lady in a nearby town who raises her own chickens. Best eggs ever! I now buy most of my produce from organic boxes that come every week. What a difference! One of my favorite things has been buying a quarter cow from a nearby Mennonite family. Delicious! I even bought my first gallon of raw milk from a local Amish family. I now make much of my own bread in my new bread maker. I am still intimidated to do it all on my own yet. :) My last experiment was making my own ketchup, it was easy and super yummy.
I am proud of my changes I have made over this time period, it has been a great growing experience and a great way to start depending on my own solutions instead of items off a super market shelf.  Although there are still a few items I will never give up.... store bought toilet paper and store bought feminine products, I am not THAT country! :)

Words Parents Never Wish to Hear

* Please Note : This blog post is very personal to me. I have prayed about this for many days, and feel led to share an intimate part of my life with others, but I also want to protect other peoples privacy. I am not someone who likes to air their dirty laundry, but also I do not like to put on a happy face when there are things God is working on in me.
When you become a parent there are certain things that you fear and want to protect your child from, and you say from day one what you would do in those situations. One of those situations you as a parent always say..... "If someone was to touch my child, I would ......." You are thinking it in your head right now. What happens though when your child comes to you and tells you that someone you knew did something to them? At that moment your world shatters; your bubble you created for your family has now popped. I know this because it happened to me.
As a parent you never want to even imagine something like that happening to your child, but when you are faced with it, what do you do? Who do you call? Where do you turn? These are all things I had to figure out, places I never wanted to know about, people I hoped to never meet.
I am telling my side of the story because I know sadly it is not uncommon. I am so thankful that God granted me to go numb, I couldn't process things well unless I could shut everything out and just focus on being there for my child and making all the calls and appointments I needed to. The second thing I needed to do was tell my husband. That was a conversation, I wish never existed between us.
Next came all the investigations and interviews. All my children were subjected to questioning, I was questioned, my parenting was questioned, my choices questioned. Talk about humbling!! I started questioning myself over everything and felt that I let my child down, I should have known this person was a monster. I wanted to lock the doors and close all the blinds and cuddle with my kids all next to me..... and we did just that.
Even through everything, I could see God's hand moving through our lives. He brought Derek home at the very time I could not go any farther. We needed time to be a whole family and to heal and to find peace.
One of the hardest things to work through, was the rage. That underlying feeling of knowing you could kill someone and sleep well at night afterwards. Never have I known so clearly, then the moment I was in the courthouse and had to see his face again. At that moment I knew. But even with the rage, I felt God's hand on my shoulder pulling me close to Him. He knew I was angry and hurt, and wanted revenge, but he also knew I needed peace, and love and forgiveness. Have I forgiven, no. Will I someday, yes.
I write this to show you that my life is in no way perfect, but to say I have a perfect God. And even with all the horrible things in my life, it does not compare to eternity with my Lord in Savior in Paradise. The second reason I write this is to tell everyone how truly proud I am of my daughter, for telling me the truth and sharing something so personal and horrible. To then say " I want to tell the police because I never want him to hurt another person." She is stronger then me, and I am glad. Because of her standing up and telling the authorities, they discovered he hurt another girl and he is currently behind bars awaiting his hearing.

She's back!!!

Time to get back into the blogging world. I miss recording our life adventures, our ups and downs. And I am sure people missing reading about them. Ha! 

We are now back on the mainland, in the great state of Missouri. Quite the change huh? Yeah, I was not expecting to enjoy it here as much as I have. 

Derek is now Chief Ganley. :) Very proud that he completed his Warrant Officer training even while suffering with meningitis. That was probably one of the scariest things I have witnessed. He is currently deployed to Afghanistan. Military life is never stagnant.

I am still homeschooling, now all the children (minus Zachary). I am much more laid back in years past. I want them to enjoy learning....chuckle.... We still have days of crying and yelling and complaining, and sometimes the kids do that as well. Ha!

I am not sure how long we will be here, my hope is a few more years at least.... I know right?! I dragged my feet for years about coming here, now I get depressed at leaving. Even when I have to worry about ticks, tornadoes and high heat, I think this is probably one of the happiest times of my life. I am blessed beyond words to be married to a man that still loves me after all these years, a family that supports me, kids that have some really great moments, fantastic friends, and a God that loves me every moment of every day. 

Although I can say that I am the happiest I have been, I can also say that I have had some major struggles, especially of late..... more on that later...... Can't wait to capture more of our family's moments for us to remember later down the road. 

Baby Food

The other day I decided to make some baby food for Zachary. I had some extra veggies so I thought I would use them to make him some homemade food. After I was done I thought to myself  "Wow, look at me- just like the pioneer women." I then laughed at how silly that comment was. How I made the baby food:

1. Cut up veggies and put them into microwave safe bowl

2. Steam veggies in Microwave

3. Use emulsion blender to make veggies the correct consistency.

4. Pack veggies into baby size containers and store in refrigerator for later uses.

I don't really think that is quite how the pioneer women prepared food for their little ones. I must say, I am quite spoiled with modern conveniences. Poor Zachary would have found a taste for bark, if it was left up to me to grow our own produce.

Craigslist Ad

I thought this was Hilarious!!!!

Yoga mat for sale. Used once. - $1 (Bellevue)

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Date: 2011-09-13, 10:32PM PDT
Reply to: sale-cbz7z-2597736393@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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Yoga mat for sale. Used once at lunch hour class in December 2009. Usage timeline as follows:

11:45a
Register for hot yoga class. Infinite wisdom tells me to commit to 5 class package and purchase a yoga mat. I pay $89.74. Money well spent, I smugly confirm to myself.

11:55a
Open door to yoga room. A gush of hot dry air rushes through and past me. It smells of breath, sweat and hot. Take spot on floor in back of room next to cute blonde. We will date.

11:57a
I feel the need to be as near to naked as possible. This is a problem because of the hot blonde to my left and our pending courtship. She will not be pleased to learn that I need to lose 30 pounds before I propose to her.

11:58a
The shirt and sweats have to come off. I throw caution to the wind and decide to rely on my wit and conditioning to overcome any weight issues my fiancée may take issue with. This will take a lot of wit and conditioning.

11:59a
Begin small talk with my bride to be. She pretends to ignore me but I know how she can be. I allow her to concentrate and stare straight ahead and continue to pretend that I don't exist. As we finish sharing our special moment, I am suddenly aware of a sweat moustache that has formed below my nose. This must be from the all the whispering between us.

12:00p
Instructor enters the room and ascends her special podium at the front of the room. She is a slight, agitated Chinese woman. She introduces me to the class and everyone turns around to greet me just as I decide to aggressively adjust my penis and testes packed in my Under Armor. My bride is notably unfazed.

12:02p
Since I do have experience with Hot Yoga (4 sessions just 5 short years ago) I fully consider that I may be so outstanding and skilled that my instructor may call me out and ask me to guide the class. My wife will look on with a sparkle in her eye. We will make love after class.

12:10p
It is now up to 95 degrees in the room. We have been practicing deep breathing exercises for the last 8 minutes. This would not be a problem if we were all breathing actual, you know, oxygen. Instead, we are breathing each other's body odor, expelled carbon dioxide and other unmentionables. (Don't worry, I'll mention them later.)

12:26p
It is now 100 degrees and I take notice of the humidity, which is hovering at about 90%. I feel the familiar adorning stare of my bride and decide to look back at her. She appears to be nauseated. I then realize that I forgot to brush my teeth prior to attending this class. We bond.

12:33p
It is now 110 degrees and 95% humidity. I am now balancing on one leg with the other leg crossed over the other. My arms are intertwined and I am squatting. The last time I was in this position was 44 years ago in the womb, but I'm in this for the long haul. My wife looks slightly weathered dripping sweat and her eyeliner is streaming down her face. Well, "for better or worse" is what we committed to so we press on.

12:40p
The overweight Hispanic man two spots over has sweat running down his legs. At least I think its sweat. He is holding every position and has not had a sip of water since we walked in. He is making me look bad and I hate him.

12:44p
I consider that if anyone in this room farted that we would all certainly perish.

12:52p
It is now 140 degrees and 100% humidity. I am covered from head to toe in sweat. There is not a square millimeter on my body that is not slippery and sweaty. I am so slimy that I feel like a sea lion or a maybe sea eel. Not even a bear trap could hold me. The sweat is stinging my eyeballs and I can no longer see.

12:55p
This room stinks of asparagus, cloves, tuna and tacos. There is no food in the room. I realize that this is an amalgamation of the body odors of 30 people in a 140 degree room for the last 55 minutes. Seriously, enough with the asparagus, ok?

1:01p
140 degrees and 130% humidity. Look, bitch, I need my space here so don't get all pissy with me if I accidentally sprayed you with sweat as I flipped over. Seriously, is that where this relationship is going? Get over yourself. We need counseling and she needs to be medicated. Stat!

1:09p
150 degrees and cloudy. And hot. I can no longer move my limbs on my own. I have given up on attempting any of the commands this Chinese chick is yelling out at us. I will lay sedentary until the aid unit arrives. I will buy this building and then have it destroyed.
I lose consciousness.

1:15p
I have a headache and my wife is being a selfish bitch. I can't really breathe. All I can think about is holding a cup worth of hot sand in my mouth. I cannot remember what an ice cube is and cannot remember what snow looks like. I consider that my only escape might be a crab walk across 15 bodies and then out of the room. I am paralyzed, and may never walk again so the whole crab walk thing is pretty much out.

1:17p
I cannot move at all and cannot reach my water. Is breathing voluntary or involuntary? If it's voluntary, I am screwed. I stopped participating in the class 20 minutes ago. Hey, lady! I paid for this frickin class, ok?! You work for me! Stop yelling at everyone and just tell us a story or something. It's like juice and cracker time, ok?

1:20p
It is now 165 degrees and moisture is dripping from the ceiling. The towel that I am laying on is no longer providing any wicking or drying properties. It is actually placing additional sweat on me as I touch it. My towel reeks. I cannot identify the smell but no way can it be from me. Did someone spray some stank on my towel or something?

1:30p
Torture session is over. I wish hateful things upon the instructor. She graciously allows us to stay and 'cool down' in the room. It is 175 degrees. Who cools down in 175 degrees? A Komodo Dragon? My wife has left the room. Probably to throw up.

1:34p
My opportunity to escape has arrived. I roll over to my stomach and press up to my knees. It is warmer as I rise up from ground level - probably by 15 degrees. So let's conservatively say it's 190. I muster my final energy and slowly rise. One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Towards the door. Towards the door.

1:37p
The temperature in the lobby is 72 degrees. Both nipples stiffen to diamond strength and my penis begins to retract into my abdomen from the 100 degree temp swing. I can once again breathe though so I am pleased. I spot my future ex wife in the lobby. We had such a good thing going but I know that no measure of counseling will be able to unravel the day's turmoil and mental scaring.

1:47p
Arrive at Emerald City Smoothie and proceed to order a 32 oz beverage. 402 calories, 0 fat and 14 grams of protein -- effectively negating any caloric burn or benefit from the last 90 minutes. I finish it in 3 minutes and spend the next 2 hours writing this memoir.

3:47p
Create Craigslist ad while burning final 2 grams of protein from Smoothie and before the "shakes" consume my body.

4:29p
Note to self - check car for missing wet yoga towel in am. 

A note

The other day my kids were being such turds - I know it is hard to imagine from those angels. It was one of those days that I just threw my hands in the air and said "That's it, I am done." That evening I had a meeting to go to and was quite relieved to be able to leave the house. When I returned home I had this note on the door from my Sarah, I thought it was very sweet........

Thank you for trusting me to watch Zachary...and the kids.I feel more responible now. I cleaned up abit and Matthias,Jojo and Laurelin helped....
Hopefully tomorrow is a good day and hopefully we all will have a good school day! I will try to have a good attitude! I love you Mom! 
Love, Sarah!
p.s Im laying with Zachary! I didn't want to leave him alone.
Love you lots, love you a whole bunch


I guess I will keep her around. :)

9/11 Remembered

This was the speech that George W. Bush gave that evening after the attack on 9-11-01.

Good evening.

Today, our fellow citizens, our way of life, our very freedom came under attack in a series of deliberate and deadly terrorist acts. The victims were in airplanes or in their offices: secretaries, business men and women, military and federal workers, moms and dads, friends and neighbors. Thousands of lives were suddenly ended by evil, despicable acts of terror. The pictures of airplanes flying into buildings, fires burning, huge -- huge structures collapsing have filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness, and a quiet, unyielding anger. These acts of mass murder were intended to frighten our nation into chaos and retreat. But they have failed. Our country is strong.

A great people has been moved to defend a great nation. Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve. America was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining. Today, our nation saw evil -- the very worst of human nature -- and we responded with the best of America. With the daring of our rescue workers, with the caring for strangers and neighbors who came to give blood and help in any way they could.

Tonight, I ask for your prayers for all those who grieve, for the children whose worlds have been shattered, for all whose sense of safety and security has been threatened. And I pray they will be comforted by a Power greater than any of us, spoken through the ages in Psalm 23:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil for you are with me.

This is a day when all Americans from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace. America has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time. None of us will ever forget this day, yet we go forward to defend freedom and all that is good and just in our world.

Thank you. Good night. And God bless America.

Thinking of all the soldiers that have gone on to protect our freedom over these past ten years. Amazing the changes that this one day made.

changes

Well changes are brewing over here in the Ganley house. We recently found out that Derek made Warrant Officer (Go Derek!). Which means we will be experiencing some big changes in the next couple of years. The first of which, we will finally be moving off this rock! Yeah! Although I must say I am very saddened with the thought of saying good bye to the friends we have made here. Secondly, we will be moving to Fort Leonard Wood Missouri come December. I know, I know... moving in winter, aahhh!!! I am looking forward to actual cold weather, and honestly I can't complain since we will most likely be living there for only a year. Third, we might actually get to visit family in December! Has been awhile since we have been to Washington, looking forward to seeing everyone again. Last, we will be driving from Washington down to Missouri, as a family vacation/ picking up Derek's car. Excited/nervous about driving down there in winter. I have always been terrified of driving in snow.  So I have already started praying for an unusually warm winter. Sorry for anyone that is wanting otherwise. Busy months ahead for us!

Three Years

I realized the other day, that we have been stationed on this island for THREE years! That is actually a record for our family. There are a few things I have learned in the three years that we have been here.......

1. The Hawaiian vacation is VERY different then the Hawaiian living.
2. You can have children happy to attend school every year, until they enter a Hawaiian school.
3. You can never say never to homeschooling.
4. It is possible for people to blast their music from 10pm-7am every single weekend.
5. MP's are all for show
6. You can hear a cockroach from another room climbing on the walls.
7. Cockroaches eat their own poop
8. You can have a group of people wanting to be spiritually fed and a Pastor not wanting to do it.
9. A pastor can lie to you.
10. You can attend a church for six months, and still noone knows your name
11. Your kids can be bullied at church
12. You can be the only white person in a crowded restaurant.
13. Japanese women love JoJo
14. Laurelin is a very hard name for Asian people to say.
15. The Army can take out money from your checking account when they think they are owed it.
16. The Army can also never pay you back the amount of money that you are owed
17. A 1st Sgt. could care less about a soldier's family, and never actually help you.
18. You can make an amazing friend Selling Avon
19. Fun Fridays take on a whole new meaning with a great group of friends
20. Jello shots make people very silly
21. Some people vomit when you pretend to mix beer and whiskey
22. God is the most amazing designer of this creation
23. I will always miss Hawaiian beaches
24. Waikiki is so much fun to spend an evening.
25. I enjoy staying at a 4 star hotel
26. You can go to the beach at Christmas.
27. It is possible to wear shorts on almost every day of the year.
28. Sometimes it is nice to be sitting in the middle of the ocean and missing all the drama on the mainland.
29. Derek can come home and tell me he is leaving in 4 hours.
30. My children still cry when their daddy leaves.
31. A doctor can tell you that you have to live with the pain, unless you cry and demand more tests. 
32. You can spend $5 for a gallon of milk
33. Spam burgers are actually pretty good.
34. Li Hing seasoning is amazing on Pineapple
35. You can actually like people in the FRG
36. Too many people have WAY too much time on their hands
37. People will leave their kids with you for hours and hours at a time, and not care
38. It is possible to have 16 kids in your house at once
39. Bathing suits can be considered clothes for the day
40. I have learned many lessons while being here, and can say that I will look back on this time with joy and laughter.

Easter Lapbook

I posted awhile back on facebook about doing a Resurrection Egg lapbook for homeschooling. I kept meaning to take pictures to show people what it was all about, but I forgot. While I was cleaning up the homeschool room and going through all the papers, I found them, and decided to take pictures for all of you to see. I loved this project, and I think we learned more this year about the final week of Jesus' life then I have ever learned before. I especially loved the fact that after we finished this project we went to Mililani Baptist for their Good Friday experience, and you walked through the different rooms experiencing what Jesus went through. The kids kept saying "hey, we learned that. We did that egg!"

Here is the cover to Matthias' folder. I glued two file folders together.

We did an egg each day of school. Each egg represented something from Jesus' final days.
The kids cut out the egg, and the scripture and picture that went along with the egg.

Here the eggs are opened up, and you can see the verse and picture. There was also a little lesson that I read each day about the item.

Better look at all the eggs. This was our first lapbook experience. We all loved it!
  This next school year we are planning on doing more. I found this lapbook at
 www.currclick.com
I believe this cost no more then $3. You order the item and then download it right to your computer, so you can make as many copies as you would like.
In fact that is my new favorite website! A lot of our curriculum we will be using next year came from there.

Ten Years

Derek and I just celebrated our ten year anniversary yesterday. Ten years! I can't believe it has been that long, and on the other hand it seems like a lifetime ago. Looking back on where we were ten years ago, and where we are now- it is pretty amazing..... In those ten years we have........

Adopted three girls
given birth to four children
gone through three Iraq deployments
lived in Oklahoma
lived in Virginia
moved back to Washington
bought a house
dealt with the loss of my brother
moved to Hawaii

All within ten years. I am excited to see what the next ten years will be like, hopefully a little more calm then the first ten, but I doubt it! We are the family that we are today because ten years ago we made a commitment to each other and to God. All blessings have come from Him. Here's to ten more!

I am baby

I am baby hear me roar!!!

I was able to sneak a video of Zachary talking like crazy. 

As you can tell he doesn't talk as much as screech.