Mushiness

I have control issues..... there I said it. Anyone that has been around me for awhile has heard me say those words, even my kids understand. I am getting A LOT better, but there are still some areas where I think my hands should be there fixing and maneuvering the situation, and only when I have completely got myself tangled up in a mess; do I step back to ask God for help.
This happened to me many years ago when I was about 21 years old. I had managed to get myself into a relationship that I knew deep down I wasn't supposed to be in, but instead of getting out, I figured I could make it work and fix it. The more it went on, the more I wanted out. Thankfully God gave me a perfect path to cut the strings to that relationship with little regret....two months before the wedding day.......
At that moment I knew I couldn't keep taking charge of things, and I had to let God take control. I got on my knees and prayed for God to take over of my life. I was already a Christian mind you, I had just gotten to the point where I thought I could fix and control things on my own. That very day God opened my eyes fully to my feelings towards Derek. I knew when I opened my door that night, he was the one that God had chosen for me.
Fast forward through time.......and today we celebrate our 12 year Anniversary. I am so thankful for God taking control and giving me a man that loves me completely and faithfully. Who makes me feel secure and safe even when we have to spend yet another Anniversary apart. I am thankful that God has blessed us with 7 children!! How amazing is that?!!
One of the best things that we have done as a couple has been to give our children a loving marriage to look at. I mean, we truly love each other! What you see when you meet us, is honestly what we are like most of the time. Don't get me wrong, our marriage is not perfect- we are not perfect, but we have found a few things that help us in our everyday marriage.
1. Divorce is not an option, we never use the "D" word. Since we know that God brought us together, we would be going directly against God's plan, and we know that is not somewhere we want to be.
2. Forever faithful. We do not worry about each others faithfulness while we are apart, we both have vowed to never even attempt to go down that road. Looking at our children, and knowing the devastation that would leave behind has helped us to stay forever faithful.
3. Promises are promises. Whenever we utter the words "I promise", we know those are sacred words. We never say those words unless we mean them.
4. Laughter is important. Spend 5 minutes with us and you will most likely see us laugh. My husband is hilarious. Laughter can get you through most anything.
5. Money isn't everything. "How do you have money to raise 7 children?" We do because God has given us 7 children so we know he will take care of us. This is a big control area for me!! Hardest area for me to let God in.

I am thankful for my husband who does not suffer from control issues, and happily allows me to wield my imaginary control over things. Even if he does take great joy in taking over now and again and watch me panic. ha!

Happy Anniversary Derek Jason!! I am so glad you have tolerated me after all these years. hahahaha!