Thinking some more....

Okay, so I got into a discussion with a few people in regards to Middle Easterns, specifically Iraqis. So now I am even more confused and befuddled then I was before.
I know in the Bible when Ishmael was born (Abrahams child, with his slave) , that at that time was the split between God's chosen people and with the middle east. Okay so later on God called Saul to destroy all those people, but he didnt. Now fast forward ahead to present day. Thousands of years those people have been in conflict, and it had been God's plan to have them wiped out, but that didnt happen. So my question is, Does that make them worst than us? I mean does God favor us, and treat us differently than those people? And yes I know that some people have inherited evil in them, but that make them all a lost cause. In fact someone told me they were soul less people. I have a hard time believing that, I hate to think that God's word was only meant for some people, and what of muslims that turn to Christ, that cant apply to them. And what of muslims that marry outside their race? Would that apply to their generations? Do we just lump everyone together, and say "Those people are evil"? I do believe that God has turned his back on those that have hardened their hearts to them. But I know in the Bible it says that everyone was born with a desire to know God, so once they turn their hearts away from Him, then at that time God turns away. But because they are that race, does God not make them "fearfully and wonderfully made.."
So confused!!

Birthday parties

Last week was my daughter Jessica's birthday. We had a fun day, Jessica is obsessed with High School musical, so I bought a bunch of party things, and invited some of her friends from around our neighborhood.

Well I guess the next day my older daughter Katie was heard saying "Why does Jessica get all the big parties?"

That made me stop and think; Do I throw some kids bigger parties than others, or make a bigger deal out of some and not others?

Well last night I was doing some scrapbooking, and I found some old birthday party pictures, and I started to remember past birthday parties. And as it turns out Katie has had the biggest birthday parties to date!! Now Matthias and Katie have their birthdays only four days apart, so I tend to have one big party for both of them. Three years ago, we had a big pirate themed party and invited all of our family in VA, and I bought Katie a big bouncer for her birthday. Then the next year in WA we had a big Luau party and I bought a big pool for the party. Then last year we all chipped in and had her going to camp for the week. Which was pretty expensive. And this year, we had just moved to Hawaii, so it was kind of bad timing, but we all went to the pool, then bought some pizza and I bought her a bunch of Tinkerbell stuff for her room.

So I reminded Katie of all these past birthdays, and of course she forgot most of that, and I asked what did Jessica have that was so amazing. Well Katie brought up the party that Jessica had a few years ago at my in-laws house. I had Katie think back to that party, and tell me what was so great about it. I bought Jessica donuts and made her a donut cake, and got some party stuff at the store, to set the table up and decorate it up, and the family came over, but that was about it. My father-in-law took her out to the store to buy her some stuff, which she loved, but that was about it. What makes the day so amazing in everyones eyes is the fact that Jessica was so happy!! Still talks about how great it was, and it made her feel special, and was appreciative for what she got. So I guess over the years the other kids think it was so amazing because Jessica still talks about it, but in reality it wasnt anything truly spectacular. It is just all about attitude. So of course I enjoy celebrating Jessica's birthday because she actually appreciates every little thing, and will treasure it, where as the other two girls remember very little and dont appreciate the effort that goes into it.

which frustrates me that they then feel sorry for themselves because they dont think they get the same things, but in fact they get more, they just dont remember!!

Homeschooling

Well I am about to embark on a journey that I swore I would never do again; homeschooling Katie.
A couple of years ago, I felt that Katie needed to be homeschool to catch up in school and really get a one on one education. Now I do feel like this is what God wanted me to do, but good grief it was a nightmare!! Anyway she could cheat she would, she would sneak answers from every source. She would not do the work, and would sit for hours refusing to do it. Now I dont blame her completely for the nightmare, I do take some respondsibility myself. My brother had just passed when we started the school year, and I found out I was pregnant. So it started off a little bad, we couldnt find a good groove and I wasnt very impressed with the homeschool program that I chose.And towards the end I spent most days driving to and from the doctors for my appointments. So by the end of the school year, her and I were both ready to call it quits. And at that moment I think her and I both had the same thought "We are never doing that again!!" I mean I think in some ways it was a good experience for us, I can see now why God wanted me to homeschool her. I do understand her a lot better, she was able to do better in school the following year.
So fastforward a couple of years, and we are going to start this again. It came to quite a shock to me what crappy schools Hawaii really have. I was warned, but was not aware the kids would have to deal with the things that they have. The teachers are very mean, to the point that they yell at the students, kids are really cruel to each other, the schools do not teach american history, only hawaiian history, Katie in particular have seen kids making out at school (even homosexuals), she found a condom in the bathroom, have witnessed many fights, and is to the point of being scared to go to school. I feel so bad for the kids. I have already started homeschooling Sarah, which I am enjoying alot. I believe that Katie should be homeschooled, because she is really struggling with all the garbage she witnesses everyday.
I am starting to think that eventually I will be homeschooling all the kids. Which of course Derek said would probably happen. I will have to set up a classroom in the house, and be referred to as Mrs. Ganley. :)
So starting on Monday, I will now have 4 children at home during the day. What happened to the thoughts of your children going to school during the day and you get a few hours of freedom?! Those seem to be fading dreams.

fearfully and wonderfully

" I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made......"

(Psalm 139:14)

I think God was trying to tell me something over the past few days in regards to this verse. I had it for my daily devotional AND for the verse of the day on my calendar. I am always comforted by this verse with the thought that I was specially made by God, or I think about how my children were specially made, or even my loved ones. But one thing jumped out at me yesterday; God makes EVERYONE that way. I stopped to think about that, wouldnt that also mean Iraqis, child abusers, even Hitler?
Derek and I have been arguing with the point that Muslims are human, just lost souls. Derek has seen horrible things, things I dont even like to think about in regards to Iraqis. He has very negative feelings toward them, which i am sure i would feel if I saw what he saw, but I realized that they were wonderfully and fearfully made just like me. God created them specially.
Then it got me to think, what makes them so different than me? If we had switched places at birth, would I be the same person I am today, and the other person be the same? What makes us- us? Our environment, our culture,etc..
I think as Americans we get a self-righteous attitude that we are better than other people, or religions. But let's be honest for a moment, would we still be a Christian if it was not talked about openly around here? Would we still call Jesus Lord if we could be killed for it? Would we still say we are christians, if it meant we have to leave everything we know behind? Would you go to church if you might be killed in the process? Hmmmm... I dont know if I could say Yes to that. When you think about their environment like that, as lost souls, could we really be so different?
We live in a country founded on Christianity, we have churches on most street corners, we have bibles lining the shelves. Take that all away; would we still follow Jesus? Or would we find a cult to worship and do horrible things because that is what we were taught and told to do?

basketball/skateboards

Yesterday I took Matthias to his first practice of basketball. It is just a mini sport where they learn the fundamentals of the game. I bought him new basketball shoes and he was all set to go. Upon arriving at the gym I discovered there was a lot of dads there with their sons. Oh how my heart ached! I know Derek would have loved to be there with Matthias, and of course Matthias would want his dad to be there too. The practice was fun, the kids each got a ball and were told to practice dribbling. The parents had to go and help their child practice, well when I got to Matthias he was going to town with it!! He did great, even the coach commented on it. I didnt know he had such skills, so I was pleasantly surprised. He has eight more practices to go, and I will have to pray that Derek will be able to come to at least one. Next time I will bring my camera. I always forget that silly thing.
When I got back home Jeremy was in his teenage funk. Pouting and acting like his life was horrible. He finally opened up and was upset that he had borrowed his friend's board and it was stolen, and he couldnt get it back. So he needed a way to get the boy a new board. I had told him not to borrow the boys' board because Jeremy can be quite persuasive, and I didnt think that it was right to just use someone elses board for weeks, well of course it got stolen, because he left it outside. So he was able to get a board from someone else (Told you he was persuasive. people just give him things) but it had no wheels, so he was pouting because he didnt have any and had to ask people for stuff. Well this of course makes me feel guilty that i am not giving him things, and i think that I should rush down and buy him things so he doesnt feel bad, I know it is not rational, just my first instinct. Well come to find out to buy all the wheels and equipment would be about $60. Now he has had quite a few boards since moving here, he has left them outside for weeks, I have seen wheels lying outside for weeks, and finally after telling him numerous times to put them away I had enough and just threw them out. I mentioned this to him, and he says "those werent any good". Which got me thinking that he hasnt tried to save any money to buy skateboard stuff, in fact he bought some stuff last week and it wasnt for his skateboard. This was his problem in WA, whatever he wanted he got when he wanted it. I realized last night that I have to stop this, I cant give my kids whatever they want at the drop of the hat, especially if they are irresondsible to start with. So I have put my foot down, he has ways of getting things if he tries and works through it. And if he really wants something then he has to earn it. I do give them stuff if they work and have shown that they are respondsible. I dont want a constant hand out. Of course I get that little voice in my head that says " bad parent", but I know what is right, besides can children die from lack of toys? I think not.

Thus it begins

I have really missed blogging on Myspace and wanted a way to share my life with family and friends. I dont know if anyone really cares, but hey- I do! I hope that I can keep this up often, but who knows with me. I like to start something then crash and burn once I get going, so I will have to wait and see. It will be nice to vent and share things especially now that Derek is in Iraq and I dont have much grown up conversations during the day. It would be nice to share how I feel or think once in awhile.